When my marriage fell apart a few years ago and I was in counseling (all kinds of counseling — professional, with friends and family, the self-help section of book stores, the self-help section of the internet…), I decided it would be good for me to create a list–A list of things I thought were important in my life and in particular, in a life partner. If I ever met someone else, I would have this arbitrary list of qualities I thought were important that I could refer to and hopefully, it would help me make decisions which would carry me forward.
In these last few conversations I’ve had with my friend-from-forever (or at least high-school), I said that if she let me post her list, I’ll post mine.
So here it is folks. I am now out there on the internet. Unplugged. Unedited. RAW. Without further adieu, here is the partner section of my life list….
Good teeth, flosses
Eats well and exercises
Of sane mind and body
Of high integrity
Of high principles
A whole person
Has a sense of self
Knows who he is and what he’s about
Likes giving sexually
Likes recieving sexually
Specifically: we have great sex
Has respect for himself
Has respect for others
Can articulate his wants and needs into tangible actions
Isn’t afraid of intimacy
Takes responsibility for his actions
Likes to dance in the living room
Wants to cook together (really cook together!)
Likes music and exploring new music
House trained (can do dishes, and housework, and share in the duties of everyday life)
Wants family (starting with pets)
Likes my family
Laughs a lot at himself
Comfortable with himself
Comfortable with other people
Likes independent entertainment or other art forms
Wants to bring me coffee in bed in the morning
Non-smoker, preferably never a smoker
Likes the outdoors
Likes getting outside: camping, backpacking, hiking, biking, kayaking…
[delete] Boxers preferred
Likes good food and good wine and good company
Active life style
Foreign or well-travelled. Must speak the same languages though.
Loyal, respects me and my person
*I* put the seat down!